Actually, that's not accurate; I suppose there are thousands of
ways to look at life. But I tend to dwell on two of them. The first
view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently
connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is
entropy. The second is that everything pretty much stays the same
(more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even
if we don't realize it.
There are many mornings when I feel certain that the first per-
spective is irrefutably true: I wake up, I feel the inescapable
oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window,
and I am struck by the fact that I am alone. And that everyone is
alone. And that everything I understood seven hours ago has
already changed, and that I have to learn everything again.
I guess I am not a morning person.
However, that feeling always passes. In fact, it's usually com-
pletely gone before lunch. Every new minute of every new day
seems to vaguely improve. And I suspect that's because the
alternative view--that everything is ultimately like something
else and that nothing and no one is autonomous--is probably
the greater truth. The math does check out; the numbers do
add up. The connections might not be hard-wired into the super-
structure to the universe, but it feels like they are whenever I
put money into a jukebox and everybody in the bar suddenly
seems to be having the same conversation. And in that last
moment before I fall asleep each night, I understand Everything.
The world is one interlocked machine, throbbing and pulsing as
a flawless organism.
This is why I will always hate falling asleep.